All The Shots You Don't Take

Yesterday, I was tag teamed.

First, my BFF calls. I explain about the test, about how poorly I did on it. I explain why I am disheartened, dejected, disheartened.

"Yeah, okay, fine," replies BFF, blowing by all my carefully constructed reasons to be depressed, "but you're still going to try again, right?"

Her patent refusal to give in to, to even acknowledge all the badness was... Well, I thought, she must not have heard me. She must not have understood.

I ingeminated, iterated, inveigled. Stakes high. Odds low. Outcome bleak. Why try?

"It's not like you're going to lose anything by trying," BFF insists, importunes, implores.

"Right?"

Later, my husband, H, chats me up.

"It's because you're breastfeeding," H excuses, expects, explains.

"It's because you drink too much soda. You eat too much sugar. You drink too much caffeine. You need more alkaline foods. You need to go back to acupuncture. You need to go back to getting massages. You need to go back to the chiropractor. You need to exercise."

But... but... I sputter in the face of his logic. We did it before, he reminds.

"It's not like we're going to lose anything by trying," H points out, prods, prompts.

"Right?"

Then, Spunketta chimes in.

Spunx has no fancy words, no well-thought-out argument. He just smiles contentedly in my arms and attempts to put my bracelet in his mouth.

"No!" I caution sternly, seriously, simply. At the sound of my voice, Spunx looks up at me, making eye contact with me for the first time since I picked him up. He smiles at the sight of me, and reaches for my bracelet yet again.

"No," I reprise, restate, retell. "No."

He gives up trying to eat my bracelet (for the moment) and smiles again. My bracelet holds a huge appeal for Spunketta. Sometimes, when he's crying, I can show it to him and the sight of my bracelet is enough for him to stop fussing.

Spunx looks straight at me and smiles. Giggles. Smiles once more and (I swear) shrugs.

It's not like he lost anything by trying.

Right?

So. Decision made.

Yikes.